How different are we really?
Girls who play football and wear pants. Boys with pierced ears and working with child care. Unthinkable 100 years ago! But quite normal for us today.
Girls are not born with a natural liking for makeup. Boys are not born behind the steering wheel of a car. Because if this were the case - if sex roles were things we were automatically born with - the situation would look the same in all societies and all cultures…and all through the ages. But of course, this is not true!
Equal freedom
How do boys become male, and girls become female? In Sweden horseback riding is considered feminine. Most horseback riders are girls. In Latin America the situation is the opposite. There horseback riding is considered masculine. All over the world people have different ideas about what is OK, or not OK, for men and women to do. In certain cultures men and women have more or less the same level of power and freedom, and about the same kinds of work and responsibilities. In other societies there are big differences between the role of the man and the woman.
Men in long dresses
Here in our culture girls do not expose their breasts in public. In a number of other cultures it is not strange at all to see girls with their breasts exposed. In still other cultures women cover their faces with veils. In our culture the color pink has been traditionally considered as a typical girls’ color. In certain other countries the only proper festival clothing for men is a handsome full-length “dress”, and if it’s a pink one, that would be considered great style!
Choosing without thinking
Our sex roles are often so deep-seated within us that we don’t even think about them. Boys keep away from high-heeled shoes without questioning why, and girls choose to work at day nurseries because it seems natural somehow. From birth we are brought up in the different sex roles depending on whether we are born a boy or a girl. We imitate grown-ups of our own sex, and we are encouraged to copy the sex roles which are around us. Over time we learn to act like males or like females.
If the sex role becomes an obstacle
There is nothing wrong in the fact that boys and girls have different sex roles. The bad thing is when the sex roles are given different status and values, and when one sex role is made dominant over the other. Or when the sex roles become an obstacle, resulting in the situation where we may not, or dare not do certain things just because we happen to be born one sex or the other.
Being in control of your own life
But there are many who dare to break with the pattern. Boys who want to work at day nurseries. Girls who want to become electrical technicians.
There are more girls studying technical subjects today than there were just a few years ago. Today’s young dads are spending more time taking more care of their children than their own fathers did. By doing what you want to do, and not just what is expected of you, you can be in control of your own life.
Showing feelings
Not too long ago it was the general opinion that boys should not show their feelings. In earlier times in Europe it was thought that women were steered by their feelings and moods, sort of like animals or young children. On the other hand, men were considered civilized “creatures” who were guided only by reason and common sense. In that case it wasn’t suitable for them to cry or to show their inner feelings. That’s all changed. Now it is more acceptable that boys show outwardly what they are feeling.
If we look back at the 18th century here in Northern Europe, it was totally acceptable for men to cry in public. And in that case, you should cry loudly and with full sound!
Making yourself attractive
Here in our culture, girls spend more time on their appearance than boys do. Girls use make up, wear jewelry, and put their hair up. Boys also care about making themselves attractive, but they don’t often go beyond the level of using hair gel and putting on a good-looking sweater.
Many people think that it is not OK for boys to use make up, but this is not the case everywhere in the world. Among the Woodabee People of West Africa, the men paint their faces and around their eyes using very bright colors. In the Trobriand Islands in the South Pacific young men decorate their hair with flowers and leaves.
In your grandfather’s days it was thought that boys with long hair were not very male. Almost none of the boys of that era had even one hair growing down over the ears. Nowadays no one reacts to a boy with long hair.
Piercing is another example. In earlier times, boys with pierced ears were looked at suspiciously, just the way girls in long pants were. Perhaps it’s just a matter of time before all the boys will be walking around in skirts!