Popular or picked on – or somewhere in between?
Short. Tall. Black or white. It doesn’t matter. Anyone can get bullied – and nobody who is bullied knows why. Mimmi and Bea know how it feels.
Mimmi Elving, 13, was picked on for being too small. For Bea Widenlöf, 14, it was because she was too tall. Both of them say that the popular ones in class said bad things about them, and those things hit them in the guts like fists. They know how stupid and lonely you feel. And how much it hurts.
“In the end, I made a friend, and that gave me more confidence, and I dared to answer back. They stopped picking on me then. You could say my friend saved my life,” says Mimmi, laughing and glaring from under her long fringe.
Bea, sitting beside her on the red sofa in the school café, has her arms folded tight. She says, “Today I answer back if someone picks on me. But sometimes I get scared that the popular girls in school are going to shout things at me when I walk down the corridor on my own. Stuff like that feels bad.”
EASIEST TO BE IN THE MIDDLE
Both of them know how important it is to stand up for yourself, or answer back. They are in the same class, in year 8 at the Rissne School in Stockholm, Sweden. They aren’t best friends, but they’ve been friends for a few years.
“We aren’t popular, but we don’t get bullied either. We’re somewhere in the middle,” says Mimmi. They are quite sure that it’s easiest to be in the middle. You’re never really alone there. There’s more freedom to be with who you want.
It’s easy to see who’s coolest at school, think Mimmi and Bea. It’s also easy to see who’s out in the cold. You can tell from their clothes, the way they talk and their attitude.
“The girls have lots of make-up and posh designer clothes. They’re sure of themselves, and look down on the others. The boys have posh clothes too. And they’re strong and they have pretend fights with each other in the corridor,” explains Bea with a tired look.
Mimmi joins in, “They’re more cocky, tougher, nastier. They want everybody to know that they’re the bosses, that they own the place. Not many people dare to argue with them.”
One weapon used in all schools is spreading rumours. Rissne School is no different. Usually it’s the popular ones who start it off, to show their power. It doesn’t matter if the rumour is true or not.
“Loads of crap is said behind people’s backs,” says Bea. “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear. It’s better to find out what’s true before you spread a rumour further. Or maybe just don’t spread it further at all.”
DARE TO BE YOU!
Mimmi and Bea have plenty of confidence, and don’t care all that much about what other people think.
“I’m me,” says Bea, shrugging. “I always have been. I don’t have any models. Or maybe if I have, just my friends. It’s nice to know that they’re always behind me.”
Mimmi wishes that she had “a bit more” confidence. Her role models are strong girls with their own style, who are a bit “crazy”. She often listens to the song “Why not?” which is all about going out and trying new things.
“For example you can talk about being in love with some boy, even if he doesn’t love you back,” she says. “At least you’ve dared to say it out loud. That’s something!”
Mimmi doesn’t think people should be afraid of making fools of themselves. She thinks everyone is afraid of that – especially people who aren’t so popular.
“If you’re lonely and you’re stuck with being picked on, maybe you should go somewhere where there are lots of new people, like a camp or a club. They don’t know who you are, or what other people think of you. And you can be as different as you like there!”