Never let anyone push you down
Victoria Gullman, 17, knows what she’s talking about. Seven years of bullying have left their mark, but they have also made her a strong person. Her love for her boyfriend and writing poems have helped her to move on.
For Victoria, school was pure hell. It started at junior school. She was picked on, harassed and hit every day for seven years. It gave her tummy ache and she found it harder and harder to sleep. Even though her family told the school what was happening again and again, nothing happened. Things got so bad that Victoria’s parents took her out of the school. She did her studies at home.
“Everyone who gets bullied is a beautiful person, whether they think so or not,” says Victoria.
“Nobody has the right to push another person down! Nobody should have to change themselves just because a bully says so. You should go on being yourself!”
Today, Victoria has got away from the people making her life a misery. She’s had her revenge. She thinks the losers are the ones who bullied her.
“I think bullies are really unhappy. I think that’s why they push other people down.”
SCHOOL LET HER DOWN
But she also blames her old school for not seeing the problems. Victoria’s parents reported the school, which has now got into serious trouble with the authorities for not taking the bullying seriously. It’s all over now. Victoria is in her last school year, she’s enjoying life and the future is hers. She’s got friends, and she’s had a boyfriend for a year and a half.
“He’s called Björn and he’s really great. He’s my prince. What I like best is that he’s just there. It’s so nice to have someone there if you’re ill, or stressed, or lonely. What means most is we love each other, we live off our love,” she laughs.
But even though everything feels good now, there are still wounds in her soul that haven’t healed after years of bullying and nastiness. Love, the support of her family and writing poems – all these things have helped Victoria get over the worst of it.
Victoria’s poem
Then and now (2004)
Then I was a little girl
down in the mouth, tears in my eyes.
The crying caught in my throat,
always.
I was outside,
bullied and abandoned.
But,
now I’m nearly grown up.
I smile and my eyes shine.
Laughter comes,
always.
BULLIES…
…depend strongly on friends who actively cheer them on, but also on those who silently stand and watch without doing anything.
…are usually scared to death of being bullied or left out themselves.
…are often people who have problems themselves and try to gain respect by putting down someone who is weaker, younger or in a weaker position.
TO YOU WHO ARE BULLIED AT SCHOOL
• Put up a fight and don’t let yourself be put down. Speak your mind, even if it’s difficult.
• You shouldn’t have to put up with being left out all the time, either. If you feel left out by the “cool gang”, ignore them and find other friends.
• You’re not the one who’s wrong. Keep on being yourself. Only change your style or yourself if you yourself feel like it.
• Try to find chances to meet other friends than the ones who go to your school.
• Talk to someone: your parents, brothers and sisters, relatives, or a grown-up at school you trust. It may not always work to go to your parents or the school councillor and say “I’m being bullied”. It may be easier to say that you’re unhappy at school and are tired of there not being any decent friends.
REMEMBER:
Anyone can be insulted/teased/bullied. It is not your fault if you are bullied or left out.